[[jamesss]]

https://www.voubs.com/group/event/view/online-dating-tips/06d401e9e5ce2021d7ebb0628b7017c3/138
https://cupid.teamapp.com/clubs/586193/articles/5345917?_detail=v1
https://topgradeapp.com/lesson/my-husband-had-a-baby-with-another-woman
https://yvision.kz/post/925530
https://www.mindsetkit.org/practices/RHdXza6N7gCptYGs
http://dolphin71.aqbsoft.com/m/aqb_articles/view/I-married-the-wrong-man
https://www.mrowl.com/post/ctree/homerun/us/personal_life/my_husband_did_not_defend_me
https://jobhop.co.uk/blog/7516/my-husband-hates-my-family
http://xiglute.com/blogs/19013945/164395/my-wife-and-brother-in-law-are-too-close-to-each-other
https://slayalicantov.gitbook.io/dater-seeker/my-husband-had-an-affair-with-a-coworker
https://fashionmag.hellobox.co/4322330/daughter-does-not-approve-of-mothers-relationship
https://agreatertown.com/charlotte_nc/woman_who_my_husband_had_an_affair_with_continues_to_contact_him_000260190178

Now the issue here is trusting if whether or not advances, interests and a man’s attention are genuine. I believe it’s an enormous waste of effort, time and yes, even money, if in the end I sabotage things before they have begun! I don’t fear commitment for what it implies. I just fear the possibility of a let-down. More to the point — a devastation. Jumping in with both feet and eyes semi-closed is new to me. I think the girl, that girl in her early 20s, was quite good at that. Too good. And now that she has reached nearly 30, putting her big toe in the water is how she would rather start.

But that isn’t entirely true. Online dating to me is a risk. Joining groups of people you have never met is a risk. Even striking up a conversation with a stranger is a risk. Those are all things I’ve done in the past month. Maybe not a big deal. But to me it’s bigger than what I had been doing for the past year I just obessessed about work and getting me together. To me that’s a full plunge.

However why is it that I’ve dived in full on, but can’t mentally get past dipping my big toe in the uncharted waters of an actual possibility?